Free · 5 minutes · 29 questions
Map one connection.
29 questions, about 5 minutes. You’ll see all 29 threads of this relationship drawn out, with the words that describe it, and I’ll read the map back to you.
What the quiz measures
Every connection has four threads.
The quiz asks 29 questions about one person and scores each thread from none to high. The result is your makeup for that connection: a four-letter code, a radar map, and what to do with it.
Ease
How light or heavy the connection feels day to day. Do conversations flow, do you get things done together without friction, is the effort you put in coming back?
Measures
Why it matters. Low ease with high everything else is the classic "we love each other but it's exhausting" pattern. Seeing it named tells you the fix is skills and habits, not the person, and which habit to start with.
Alignment
Whether you are heading the same way. Values, lifestyle, how you care for each other, and how fast your lives are merging.
Measures
Why it matters. Alignment is what makes a connection safe to build on. Knowing exactly where it is thin, say values are strong but pacing is off, lets you slow one thing down instead of doubting the whole relationship.
Situational
The context you share. How long you have known each other, how often you see each other, what you have been through together, and how you each see the path ahead.
Measures
Why it matters. Some connections are held together mostly by circumstance: the job, the city, the group. Seeing that clearly frees you from guilt when it fades, and shows you what to invest in if you want it to last beyond the situation.
Sexuality
Attraction, openness, polarity and how sexuality sits in the connection right now. Present, absent, or somewhere in between, all of it is valid and all of it is mapped.
Measures
Why it matters. Most relationship confusion lives here: a friendship with attraction in it, a partnership where the spark has moved. Naming the level, and how it compares to the other three threads, tells you whether you are looking at friends, lovers, or partners.
Your makeup
Four letters you can say out loud.
Each thread lands on one of four levels. Put them together and you have the shape of the connection, in the order Ease, Alignment, Situational, Sexuality.
Example
M H H L
Medium ease, high alignment, high situational, low sexuality. A deep, trusted, same-direction friendship that takes some effort to keep flowing. Worth the effort, and now you know where to put it.
What changes once you can see it
Know whether to stay, go, or go deeper
Four levels across four threads gives you a picture, not a feeling. Most people know within seconds of seeing it.
Stop arguing about the wrong thing
When ease is the low thread, values arguments are a distraction. The map points at the real gap.
Have the conversation with language
"Our alignment is high but our ease is low" is a sentence two people can work with. "Something feels off" is not.
See patterns across your life
Map more than one person and the repeats show up: the same low thread, again and again. That is the thing to work on.
Common questions
How long does the Connection Map quiz take?
About five minutes. There are 29 questions about one person you choose.
Is the quiz free?
Yes. The quiz and your on-screen result are free. A fuller written report is optional.
Who can I map?
Anyone you have a connection with: a partner, a friend, a family member, a co-founder, a colleague, or someone you just met.
What do I get at the end?
A four-letter code for the connection (one level each for Ease, Alignment, Situational and Sexuality), a radar map of the 31 sub-categories, and a sense of whether to stay, go, or go deeper.
Where does the quiz come from?
It is built on The Connection Map, the framework I created and describe in my book The Golden Relationship.
The Book
The Golden Relationship
The new framework for finding soul-aligned love, avoiding breakups, betrayals, or divorce papers. By Joe Che.
Buy the book